Your Spark Is Still There: Finding Your Way Back to Joy

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Hey, hey, hey.

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Welcome back to Culture Lit, the podcast

where Black women's love stories, healing,

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and the good life take center stage.

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I'm your host, Octavia Marie,

and I am so glad you're here.

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Pull up a chair, grab

whatever you're drinking.

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Let's get into it.

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I wanna be honest with

you right off the top.

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These past few weeks have been a lot,

and I know I'm not alone in that.

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Because if you've been anywhere near

the news, anywhere near social media,

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anywhere near a real conversation with

your girls lately, you already know.

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It feels like Black women are

constantly under fire right now,

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constantly navigating something,

constantly being tested.

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And if you're like me, maybe you're in

a season of transition too, figuring

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out a next chapter, redefining what your

work looks like, what your life looks

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like, what you look like on the other

side of everything you've been through.

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That kind of weight is real, and it

has a way of dimming something in

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you if you're not paying attention.

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So today, I wanna talk about that, about

what happens when your spark gets quiet,

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and how you find your way back to it.

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I want to start with where I've

been, because I don't believe in

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talking at you about something I

haven't personally walked through.

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I am coming out of a season where I

genuinely have not felt like myself,

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physically, emotionally, in all the ways.

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Part of it is menopause.

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And honey, let me say, nobody

prepares you for how sneaky it is.

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It doesn't just show

up in the obvious ways.

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It messes with your mood,

your energy, your motivation.

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It can make you feel like a

stranger in your own skin.

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But the other part, the part that

landed harder when I finally slowed down

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enough to see it, was that I had stopped

doing the things that filled me up.

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Not just the big things, not just

the beach trips and intentional

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time with friends, though,

yes, those had stopped too.

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The little things, the morning ritual

that used to feel like mine, the books

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I'd pick up just because I wanted to, not

because I needed to review them, the slow

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Sunday mornings that used to feel sacred.

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I had been so focused on doing

that I had quietly stopped being,

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and maybe you know that feeling.

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You're moving through your days,

getting things done, showing

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up for everybody who needs you,

keeping it together on the outside.

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But the spark, it's quiet, like the

pilot light went out, and you don't

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even know exactly when it happened.

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That's an unsettling feeling, because you

remember what it felt like to be lit up.

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You remember waking up looking forward

to your day, feeling connected to

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your life in a way that felt alive.

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So when that starts to fade, your

mind goes to scary places You start

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wondering if something is broken,

if this is just who you are now.

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I wanna offer you something different.

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Your spark is not gone.

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It is resting, and it is waiting

for you to come back to yourself.

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I wanna take a quick second to talk

about something that has been part of

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my own coming back to myself practice.

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You know, I've been being more intentional

about the products I'm using and

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curating my favorites at Jane and Bloom

because the products genuinely align

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with what we talk about on this show.

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The Wellness Ritual Bundle,

the Skin Ritual Bundle, these

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aren't things I put on a shelf.

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They're part of how I've been

rebuilding small daily moments of care.

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One of the first things I noticed when

I started feeling disconnected was that

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I had stopped doing anything that felt

like a gift to myself, even something

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as small as a dedicated skincare

moment, something that says, "I matter.

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This body matters."

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If you've been feeling that same distance

from yourself, visit janeandbloom.com.

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The link is in the show notes.

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Give yourself something gentle.

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Okay, back to what I was saying.

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Here's what I've come to

understand about losing your spark.

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It usually doesn't happen

because you broke down.

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It happens because you stretched too far

for too long in one direction, giving

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too much, carrying too much, moving too

fast with not enough recovery in between.

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And your spirit, the part of you

that knows what you actually need,

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eventually goes quiet, not to

punish you, to get your attention.

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It's not a breakdown.

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It's a message.

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"Come back.

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I've been waiting for you."

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What I found when I finally sat still

long enough to ask the question was

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this: When was the last time I felt

like myself, and what was I doing?

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That question cracked something open for

me because the answer wasn't complicated.

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It was actually pretty simple.

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I was doing small things, specific

things, things I had quietly

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stopped doing because life got loud.

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So I started there, not with some

grand overhaul, not with a new

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routine I had to maintain perfectly.

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One small yes at a time.

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A walk I actually wanted to take,

not because I was supposed to.

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A book I picked up for pure pleasure.

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A conversation with a friend where

I wasn't trying to hold it together.

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Those things started to matter again.

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And slowly, not overnight,

not dramatically, the

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light started coming back.

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I wanna give you something

to carry with you this week.

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Say this to yourself, "My spark is still

within me, and I am reconnecting to it."

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Write that down somewhere you'll see it.

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Put it on a sticky note.

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Make it your lock screen.

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Keep it close because some days

you're going to need the reminder

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that you're not starting over.

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You're returning to yourself, and

that is a very different thing.

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Okay, now let's get into

what you came here for.

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Because April, the Black romance

authors absolutely delivered.

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I mean this when I say these

books help me recenter.

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There is something about sitting

down with a story that was written

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specifically for you, for the fullness

of who you are, that does something

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no productivity tip can touch.

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Let's get into it.

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First up, Big Girl

Blitz by Danielle Allen.

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Y'all, I have been waiting on Jasmine's

story since the first book in the

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Curve series, and this is exactly

the closer this series deserved.

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The entire Curve series

takes place over one summer.

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Three books, three women, three love

stories, and I genuinely cannot pick a

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favorite because every single one brought

something different and necessary.

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But Big Girl Blitz, this one went

somewhere the previous two didn't.

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Yes, Danielle Allen's signature

banter is all the way present.

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If you know her work, you know the

dialogue is sharp and funny and sounds

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like conversations you've actually had.

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That's still here.

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But what came through in this book

more than the previous two was depth.

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Not just romantic depth, though

Jasmine and Lamar will absolutely

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have you in your feelings, but

emotional depth across the board.

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The friendships, the family

dynamics, the community.

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This book really digs into what it means

to have a strong support system around

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you when life has knocked you around,

and it shows unflinchingly what it looks

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like when past trauma bleeds into your

present without you even realizing it.

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The relationship between Jasmine and her

Aunt Addie, I need to talk about this

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because I am still thinking about it.

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We got glimpses of their dynamic in

Curvy Girl Summer and Plus Size Player,

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but here it is fully on the page.

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The grief of watching someone you

love change, the weight of being their

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soft place to land, the complicated,

specific love wrapped up in all of that.

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Danielle handled it with so much

care, and I was completely undone.

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Now, Jasmine.

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Some readers might find her

frustrating, and I get it.

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She's not easy.

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She's got edges.

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But I kept asking myself, "Look

at what this woman has survived."

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She came through PTSD.

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She shows up for her aunt every day.

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She has faced down the kind of fear

that makes most people retreat,

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and she keeps moving anyway.

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She's out here thriving professionally.

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She checks every single box we say

we admire in a woman, and she's doing

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it while also being deeply human,

imperfect, and figuring it out.

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I've seen myself in every

woman in the Curve series.

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That is the mark of someone

who knows how to write.

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Danielle also doesn't let

the double standard slide.

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The one that still exists

around plus-size Black women.

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The women who come for Jasmine

while openly admiring Lamar?

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She writes them exactly as they are.

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No speeches about it.

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She just shows it.

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That's the work.

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The spicy scenes?

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Baby.

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Danielle Allen knows what she's doing, and

what I love about how she writes intimacy

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is that it never floats above the story.

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The heat is the story.

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It's doing emotional

work every single time.

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Five stars.

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Perfect series closer.

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Go get this book.

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Next up, The Art of Loving You

by Natasha Bishop, and I need

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to set some expectations first.

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If you read If Only for the Week,

the first book in Natasha's Forever

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Falling series, walk into this

one without those expectations.

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They are completely different

books, and this one is heavy

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in ways the first one is not.

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Please read the trigger

warning at the beginning.

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Grief is a central theme here,

and it's handled seriously.

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Dani and Micah are both

grieving their mentor, Tanya.

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They've also got unresolved history

between them, and Tanya, bless

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her diabolical heart, left them

a bucket list scavenger hunt to

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complete together as her final gift.

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I mean, Tanya.

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She looked at these two people she loved,

who were complicated with each other,

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who were now both wrecked with loss, and

she basically said, "Go figure it out.

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Together."

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So that's the road we're on.

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Dani and Micah traveling through this

scavenger hunt, meeting beautiful

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and eccentric people along the way,

working through everything between them

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while carrying the weight of losing

someone who mattered to them both.

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What made this one land for me personally

is something I think a lot of us know.

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Grief doesn't leave.

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You don't get over it.

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You don't wake up one day and it's gone.

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You learn to live alongside it.

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You carry it differently over time,

sometimes lighter, sometimes something

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small catches you off guard and it's right

there again, as heavy as the first day.

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Watching Dani and Micah hold their

grief together while trying to figure

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out whether they could hold each other?

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I saw myself in that.

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Old grief I thought I had processed,

feelings I thought were resolved

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that came back up through the pages.

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That is what good fiction does.

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It cracks open something real.

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When second chance romance is written

well, there's nothing like it.

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Natasha wrote Dani and Micah

with care, and yes, this is Black

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romance, so we get the love story.

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There are feelings and tension

and moments that had me reading

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past the time I said I'd stop.

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But this book is also its own

individual piece of work, a

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standalone emotional experience that

deserves to be met exactly as it is.

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Don't miss it.

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Before we wrap up, if either of

these books went on your TBR during

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this episode, you can find them

both on my Bookshop storefront.

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Every purchase through that link supports

independent bookstores and this community.

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That's

bookshop.org/shop/culturelitpodcast.

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It's in the show notes.

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Okay, so that's our episode, y'all.

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I hope something in here landed

where you needed it today.

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If you've been in a dim season, I see you.

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It doesn't mean the light is gone.

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It means it's time to

turn back toward yourself.

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One small yes, one moment that feels

like you, that's where it starts.

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If this episode spoke to

something real for you, share it.

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Text it to a friend who needs to hear it.

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Drop it in your stories and tag me.

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I'm @becomingoctavia on

Instagram and Threads.

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And if you haven't subscribed to the

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Until next time