Sex on the Beach and on the Page: Solo Adventures and TBR Black Romance Escapes

Octavia Marie: 00:00:36

Hey, and welcome back to Cultural Lit.

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I'm your host, Octavia Marie, and I am

grateful you are here with me today.

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Whether you are an OG listener

or if this is your first time

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tuning in, thank you for being a

part of this beautiful community.

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We've built around Black romance

novels, black authors, black

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women, and celebrating black

love in all its gorgeous forms.

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Before I dive into today's episode, I just

wanna take a moment to thank you for all

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the ways you've supported culture lit.

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Every single listen matters, every

download, every share, and every time you

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tell a friend about the podcast, it all

adds up and it helps me reach more people

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who need these stories in their lives.

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If you haven't already, please

hit the subscribe button wherever

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you're listening to this podcast.

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Leave us a review.

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Those five star ratings really do help

other people discover the podcast.

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Share us on your social media.

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Tag us in your books to Grand Post.

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All of that support means the

absolute world to me and it helps

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me keep this podcast growing strong

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and speaking of community, I've

been seeing so many of you sharing

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your current reads and TBR lists

and wow, it's just so amazing.

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So keep making those recommendations

because y'all have the best taste

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in books and I'm always adding

something to my never ending TBR list.

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Thanks to all of your recommendations.

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Now let's get into today's episode.

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This is all about something I'm

passionate about, solo adventures and

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the books that make perfect companions

for those journeys of self-discovery.

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When was the last time you took yourself

on a solo date, a solo vacation?

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Maybe you got all dressed up and

treated yourself to dinner at that fancy

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restaurant that you've been talking about?

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Or maybe you kept it simple, threw

on your favorite sweats and went

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to see sinners for the third time.

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Yep, that's right.

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I saw it three times.

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But both of those are completely valid,

by the way But if it's been a while

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since you've done something solo or

you've been feeling a little anxious

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or hesitant about taking yourself on

a date or planning a solo trip, I hope

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this episode will be the gentle nudge.

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You need to push you past that

hesitation and do the damn thing.

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Because let me tell you, there are

some experiences in life that teach us

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profound lessons about ourselves, and solo

adventures are absolutely one of them.

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I've been thinking a lot lately

about second chances and the

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experiences we wish we could do over.

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I saw this question making rounds on

social media, asking if you could do one

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thing over in your life, what would it be?

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And for me, without hesitation,

it's studying abroad and traveling

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internationally when I was younger.

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As a child of a single mother and the

first in my family to go to college, I

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honestly had no idea that studying abroad

was even an option for someone like me.

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It felt like something

reserved for other people.

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People with different backgrounds,

different resources, different

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kinds of support systems.

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I didn't have anyone in my circle

who had done it or could even

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guide me through the process.

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I.

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But here's the beautiful thing

about reading and specifically

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about the kinds of romance novels

we talk about on this show.

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Books became my passport.

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Through the pages of these stories,

I got to travel to far off places,

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experience different cultures,

and see the world through the eyes

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of characters who looked like me,

loved like me, and dreamed like me.

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Okay.

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Reading opened up worlds I didn't

even know existed and sparked a

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fascination with travel that has

only grown stronger over the years.

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once I started reading more intentionally

as an adult, really diving deep into

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Black Romance seeking out authors who

were creating these lush, diverse roles.

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I began seeing distant lands and different

possibilities through their stories.

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Authors like Beverly Jenkins taking

me to the Old West, or Elisa, Cole's

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historical Romance has transporting

me to different eras and continent.

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These books didn't just entertain me.

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They educated me and expanded

my sense of what was possible.

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I think doing things solo, especially

traveling, teaches us things about

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ourselves that can only emerge when

we're comfortable with solitude, when

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we're truly okay with being alone

with ourselves and our thoughts.

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When you're by yourself, you learn who you

really are beneath all the layers of other

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people's expectations and perceptions.

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You discover what genuinely makes

you tick, what kinds of experiences

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light you up from the inside, what

your authentic interests are when

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they're not filtered through group

dynamics or someone else's preferences.

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Think about it.

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How much of what you think

you like or dislike has been

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shaped by the people around you?

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When you spend intentional time

alone, you get to develop your own

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interests without outside influence.

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you might discover.

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You actually love museums when

you're not rushing through

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them with someone who's bored.

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You might find that you prefer quiet

cafes over bustling restaurants where

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you're not trying to accommodate

someone else's energy level.

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Solo experiences also push you out of your

comfort zone in the best way possible.

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When you're traveling alone, you are

more likely to strike up conversations

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with strangers, to be open to

spontaneous adventures, to say yes to

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experiences you might normally avoid.

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You become more resourceful,

more confident, more adaptable.

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Now, I've never had major

issues doing things by myself.

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when I lived in Los Angeles, I

routinely took myself out to dinner,

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went to movies solo, took long

drives along the coast, had beach

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dates with just me and a good book.

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I loved roaming around the city,

discovering new neighborhoods,

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finding hitting gems that I might

have missed if I'd been focused

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on entertaining someone else.

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But I know that for many of us doing

things along, especially things

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that feel quote unquote social, like

dining out or going to events can

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feel uncomfortable or even scary.

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We're waiting for our friend group to be

available or for that special, someone to

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come along and be our adventure partner.

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But here's what I've learned.

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You can't wait for other

people to live your life.

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You can't put your interests and

desires on hold indefinitely,

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waiting for the perfect companion.

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And honestly, some of the best

experiences I've had have been solo

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because I was fully present, fully

engaged, and fully in tune with what

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I wanted to get out of the experience.

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when we're young, we typically do

a lot of different things, right?

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We're involved in various activities,

we're exploring different interests.

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We're naturally curious and playful.

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But at some point in our adult lives,

we tend to focus more heavily on work,

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family responsibilities, caregiving

duties, and we lose touch with

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the sense of play and exploration.

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We forget how important it is to continue

fostering our own hobbies and interests.

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Even as we get older and take on more

responsibilities, we put ourselves

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on the back burner thinking I'll

get back to those personal interests

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someday when we have more time,

more money, fewer obligations.

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But here's the truth, there's

never going to be a perfect time.

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There's never going to be a moment when

all your responsibilities disappear and

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you suddenly have unlimited time and

resources to explore your interests.

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You have to make time for the things

that bring you joy, that feed your

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soul, that reminds you who you are

beyond your roles and responsibilities.

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If you've been pouring all your time

and energy into caregiving, into

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work, into taking care of everyone

else, I want you to hear this.

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You are never too old to

develop a new hobby or interest.

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you are never too busy to carve out small

moments for things that make you happy.

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You deserve to have fun, to explore,

to discover new aspects of yourself.

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I want you to think about spending time

alone, not as something you do when

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you're single or when you're between

relationships, but as a practice that

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you continue throughout all stages

of your life, whether you're single,

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partnered, a parent, a caregiver, a co.

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At every stage, you need time to

connect with yourself and nurture

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your own individual interests.

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There's no point in your

life where you can say, Okay.

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I don't need solo time anymore.

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Because the things you

learn about yourself at 21.

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Through solo experiences are

completely different from what

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you'll discover about yourself.

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At 35 50 or 65.

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At each stage of life, you are

meeting new versions of yourself,

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uncovering new layers, developing

new interests and perspectives.

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the 25-year-old you who backpack

through Europe might have different

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travel preferences than the

45-year-old you who prefers boutique

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hotels and planned itineraries.

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The 30-year-old U who loved crowded

concerts might involve into someone

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who prefers intimate jazz clubs.

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Both versions are valid and both

deserve to be honored and explored.

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I am sharing all of this because I'm just

now getting back to a place where I'm

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ready to fully embrace solo adventures.

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Again, my cancer journey changed

so much for me physically,

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emotionally, spiritually.

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It took time to adjust for the ways

my body had changed, to reveal my

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confidence, to trust myself, to

navigate the world independently again.

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My first few ventures out of town, or with

my daughter and sister, safe supported

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trips to New Orleans and San Diego.

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Having them with me gave me the

confidence to start exploring

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again while still feeling secure.

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Those trips were important.

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Stepping Stones helping me remember

how much I love discovering new

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places, trying new foods, and

experiencing different environments.

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S This year I decided to

step out even more boldly.

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I took my first solo trip to New

Mexico and it was transformative.

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There's something magical about the desert

landscape, the art scene in Santa Fe, the

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way the light changes throughout the day.

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Being there alone allowed me to move

at my own pace, to sit with the beauty

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around me, to process everything I'd been

through and celebrate how far I come.

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And now here I am in Porto Vota for the

next few weeks fully embracing this next

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chapter of my solo adventure journey.

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I'm talking to you from this

beautiful place surrounded by the

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sounds of the oceans with a stack

of books that I'm excited to dive

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into, which brings me to the books.

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While I'm here in Mexico, I have

several novels on my TBR list

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that I'm determined to knock out.

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But first up, I'm tackling some of these

five star reads that have been creating

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major buzz among the book community.

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Books that have been all over book talk

bookstagram and dominating conversations

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in the romance reading circles.

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What's better than some literal sex

on the beach while reading about

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some fictional sex on the page?

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I'm talking about the work

of Black romance authors who

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everyone has been raving about.

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Finally getting a chance to see what

all the excitement was about and one of

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the first books I'm finally tackling.

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Is the next book in JL Seeger's

Revive Me series y'all.

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This series has been on my TBR

longer than I really want to admit,

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and I'm almost embarrassed about

how long I've been putting it off.

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And here's the thing, I wasn't as

into the first book in the series

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as everyone else seemed to be.

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and maybe it was my mood when I read it.

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maybe my expectations were too high

because of all the height, but it

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didn't grab me the way it clearly

grabbed so many other readers.

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Plus it ended on a cliffhanger,

which unpopular opinion.

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I'm not always a fan of cliffhangers

when I'm not ready to immediately

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dive into the next book.

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But I've been hearing so many people rave

about books two and three that I knew I

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had to give the series another chance.

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And with JL Seeker recently

signing with Bloom Books, a

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major traditional publisher.

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All of the books in the series

are being republished with new

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covers and updated marketing.

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So I'm really interested to see how

they position her work and how they

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market the series to a broader audience.

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There's something exciting about watching

an author make that transition from indie

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publishing to traditional publishing.

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It often means their work is reaching

new readers who might not have discovered

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them otherwise, and it's a validation of

what those of us in this romance community

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have known all along These stories

deserve the widest possible audience.

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So what better time than now to finish the

series while I'm here in this beautiful

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setting, sometimes a change of scenery

is exactly what you need to approach a

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book with fresh eyes and an open heart.

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Now.

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One book that I've already

completed while I've been here is

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No Ordinary Love by Maya Ariel.

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Now let me tell you

about No Ordinary Love.

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This book is everything.

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It's sexy and luxurious, but it's also one

of the best representations of divorce and

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litigation abuse I've seen on the page.

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Maya Ariel doesn't shy away from the

reality of what it's like to be trapped

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in a marriage with someone who uses the

legal system as a weapon, and she handles

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it with such sensitivity and accuracy.

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The hero of no ordinary love

is Miles, Westbrook, and y'all.

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If all men were like miles, the world

would genuinely be a much better place.

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He's the kind of man who sees a

woman in distress and doesn't try

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to fix her or save her, but instead

creates space for her to save herself

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while offering unwavering support.

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He's patient, he's understanding, he

respects boundaries, and he loves what

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the kind of consistency that allows

someone to heal and trust again.

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Okay.

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One thing I absolutely loved

about this book is how Maya

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incorporates music into the story.

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There are songs referenced throughout

that perfectly capture the mood

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and emotion of different scenes.

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I highly recommend creating a

playlist as you read, because it will

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absolutely level up your experience.

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Music and romance go hand in hand anyway,

but when an author delivery weaves.

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specific songs into their narratives.

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It creates this multimedia experience

that's incredibly immersive.

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Next up, I'm working my way through Jaques

Capone series because I need to finish

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it before I start the quasi series that

has literally everyone in a choke hole.

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I started quasi earlier, got completely

sucked in, and then realized I

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needed to go back and read the

previous books to fully understand

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all the connections and references.

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This is one of those author situations

where the more I read, the more I

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understand why people are so obsessed.

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Jaque has this way of creating

characters that feel so real, so

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complex, so fully developed that

you forget you're reading fiction.

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Her dialogue is sharp, the romantic

tension is off the charts, and she's not

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afraid to tackle difficult subjects while

still delivering that happily ever after.

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We're all craving.

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I think I'm going to need to dedicate

an entire episode to discussing her

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work because there is so much to

unpack the way she handles trauma,

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family dynamics, community loyalty.

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It's also nuance and well-crafted.

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Plus her heroes are the kind of men who

ruin you for real life because they're

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protective without being possessive.

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Strong, without being toxic.

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And they love their women

with an intensity that's both

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aspirational and, ooh, so hot.

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and then finally, I'm diving

into Work song by Danielle Allen.

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Danielle quickly became one of my

favorite authors after I discovered

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Curvy Girl Summer last year.

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Her writing style, her character

development, her ability to create

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plus size heroines who are confident,

complex, and completely lovable.

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It all just speaks to my soul.

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while I'm equally waiting on her

next book, plus Size Player, which

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comes out next month, I thought this

would be the perfect time to finally

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check works on off my TBR list.

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The premise immediately

caught my attention.

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the female protagonist deals with the

backhanded compliments of you have a

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pretty face, something that so many

plus-sized women have experience.

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It is the coded language that

supposedly offers a compliment while

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simultaneously delivering an insult.

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but Danielle's heroin refuses

to internalize that negativity.

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and here's what this book is about.

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A 27-year-old who has never been in love.

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She dates but sparks

never have seemed to fly.

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Her mother says she'll never

find love because of her weight.

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Her sister says it's

because of her personality.

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Her almost fiance says, is because

he's incapable of loving anyone.

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While she rightfully dispenses her

mother and sister's opinions as

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garbage, she admits her ex might have

a point about her capacity for love,

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but then she experiences that heart

pounding, skin tingling feeling for

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the first time with a guy she's never

met, And he ends up holding her future

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in his hands in more ways than one.

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What I love about Danielle's work is

how she creates plus-sized characters

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who are unapologetically confident in

their sexuality and their desirability.

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there's no self-doubt, no

constant internal dialogue

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about weight or appearance.

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These women know they're gorgeous

and expect to be treated as such.

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It's refreshing and

unnecessary representation.

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There's something perfect about combining

solo travel with romance reading.

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When you're in a new place

removed from your everyday routine

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and responsibilities, you can

really sink into a story in a

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way that's harder to do at home.

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You're not thinking about laundry or

work emails or what to make for dinner.

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You're fully present with

the book and the experience.

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Okay.

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Plus, there's something beautifully

ironic about reading love stories.

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While you're on a journey of self-love

and discovery, these books remind

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us of what we want in relationships,

what we deserve from partners,

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what healthy love looks like.

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They can be both escapist,

entertainment and guide books

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for our own romantic lives.

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when I'm reading a particularly

swoon worthy hero, I'm not

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just enjoying the fantasy.

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I'm also taking notes on the qualities

that make him appealing, the way he

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communicates, how he handles conflict,

his respect for the heroin's autonomy,

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his emotional intelligence, these

characteristics become part of my

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standard for real life relationships.

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one of the things that I love most about

the current landscape of Black Romance

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is how diverse and inclusive it's become.

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We're seeing stories about plus size

characters, older characters, characters

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dealing with mental health issues,

disabilities, trauma recovery, and so many

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: 00:21:12

other experiences that were traditionally

overlooked in mainstream romance.

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: 00:21:17

Authors like the ones I'm reading

here in Puerto, are creating space

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for all kinds of black love stories.

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: 00:21:24

They're showing us that we don't have

to choose between diversity and quality,

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between representation and entertainment.

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We can have beautifully written,

emotionally satisfying stories

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: 00:21:35

that also reflect the full

spectrum of black experiences.

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This representation matters because

it tells readers that their stories

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: 00:21:44

are valid, that their experiences are

worthy of being centered in romantic

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: 00:21:48

narratives, that they deserve love

stories that reflect their realities.

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: 00:21:54

It matters because it expands

the definition of who gets to

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: 00:21:57

be a romance, heroine, and what

happily ever after can look like.

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Coming back to the theme of solo

adventures, I want to talk about

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what I'm learning about myself

during this time in Puerto.

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Being here alone with no agenda except

to read, relax, and reconnect with

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: 00:22:15

myself has been incredibly revealing.

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: 00:22:17

I'm learning that I'm more adaptable

than I give myself credit for.

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: 00:22:21

Navigating a place where my

Spanish is rusty, figuring out

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: 00:22:25

transportation, finding my way

around all these small challenges

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: 00:22:29

have reminded me that I'm capable

of handling uncertainty and change.

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: 00:22:34

I'm also discovering that I

genuinely enjoy my own company.

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: 00:22:38

There's no pressure to be on or

entertaining or accommodating.

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: 00:22:42

I can wake up when I want, eat what

appeals to me, spend as long as I want

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: 00:22:47

at the beach, or as many hours I want

reading without having to consider

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: 00:22:51

anyone else's preferences or schedule.

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: 00:22:54

But perhaps more importantly, I'm

learning to trust my instincts again.

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Okay.

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: 00:22:59

Cancer treatment and recovery involves

so many decisions being made by

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: 00:23:03

other people, doctors, nurses, family

members who are trying to help.

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: 00:23:08

While that support was necessary and

appreciated, it's empowering to be back

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: 00:23:12

in a space where I'm making choices

based solely on what feels right for me.

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: 00:23:18

Even though I'm here

alone, I'm not isolated.

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: 00:23:21

I've had beautiful conversations with

other travelers, with locals, with fellow

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: 00:23:26

book lovers, I've connected with online.

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: 00:23:28

Solo travel doesn't mean cutting

yourself off from human connection.

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: 00:23:33

It means being more intentional

about the connections you make

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: 00:23:37

when you're traveling with others.

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: 00:23:39

It's easy to stay in your comfortable

bubble with the people you came with.

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: 00:23:43

When you're alone, you are more open

to meeting new people, more likely to

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: 00:23:47

accept invitations, more willing to

step outside your comfort zone socially.

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: 00:23:52

I had a fascinating conversation about

books with a woman from Canada who's

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: 00:23:56

also here solo, comparing notes on our

TBR list and sharing recommendations.

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: 00:24:01

I've chatted with locals about their

favorite authors and discovered some

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: 00:24:05

Mexican romance writers I never heard of.

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: 00:24:08

These connections wouldn't have

happened if I had been focused on

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: 00:24:11

entertaining travel companions.

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: 00:24:14

the skills you develop through

solo adventures, confidence,

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: 00:24:17

adaptability, self-reliance,

openness to new experiences, these

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: 00:24:22

translate to every area of your life.

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: 00:24:25

They make you a better partner

because you're not looking to

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: 00:24:28

someone else to complete you

or provide all your happiness.

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: 00:24:32

They make you a better friend because

you're not needy or dependent.

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: 00:24:36

They make you more interesting

because you have your own experiences

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: 00:24:39

and perspectives to share.

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: 00:24:41

solo time also helps you identify

what you truly want versus

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: 00:24:46

what you think you should want

based on external expectations.

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: 00:24:50

When you remove other people's voices

and opinions from the equation, you

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: 00:24:54

can hear your own desires more clearly.

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: 00:24:56

For example, before this trip, I

thought I was someone who preferred

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: 00:25:00

busy packed itineraries while traveling.

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: 00:25:03

But being here with no schedule has

shown me that I actually love having

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: 00:25:07

unstructured time to wander, to follow

my curiosity, to be spontaneous.

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: 00:25:12

That's valuable self-knowledge that

will inform future travel decisions.

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: 00:25:17

The romance novels I'm reading

here aren't just entertainment.

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: 00:25:21

They're also serving as informal guides

for this journey of self-discovery.

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: 00:25:25

The heroines in these books are all

on their own journeys of figuring

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: 00:25:28

out who they are and what they want.

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: 00:25:31

They're learning to value themselves, to

set boundaries, to ask for what they need.

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: 00:25:36

Okay.

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: 00:25:36

Watching these fictional women navigate

their challenges reminds me that

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: 00:25:41

growth is a process that setbacks

are normal, that self-love is a

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: 00:25:46

practice rather than a destination.

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: 00:25:48

Their courage inspires my own courage.

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: 00:25:51

Their willingness to be

vulnerable encourages my own

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: 00:25:54

openness to new experiences.

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: 00:25:57

If you are inspired to plan your own

solo adventure, but feeling nervous

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: 00:26:01

about it, here are some practical

tips that have helped me Start small.

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: 00:26:06

You don't have to book a two

week international trip as

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: 00:26:09

your first solo adventure.

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: 00:26:11

Try a day trip to a city nearby, a

weekend getaway to a place you've

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: 00:26:16

always wanted to visit, or even

just a solo date in your own town.

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: 00:26:21

Choose destinations that feel manageable.

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: 00:26:23

If you are anxious about language

barriers, start with someone

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: 00:26:27

that speaks your language.

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: 00:26:29

If you are worried about safety

research, destinations known for being

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: 00:26:33

solo female friendly, And pack books

seriously, having good books with you.

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: 00:26:39

Eliminate any awkwardness about dining

alone or spending time by yourself.

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: 00:26:44

You always have something to do and

you never look lonely because you're

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: 00:26:48

clearly engaged in something you enjoy.

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: 00:26:51

Trust your instincts.

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: 00:26:53

If something doesn't feel right, leave.

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: 00:26:55

If an opportunity sounds amazing, say yes.

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: 00:26:58

Solo travel is about honoring your

intuition and preferences without

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: 00:27:02

having to negotiate with anyone else.

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: 00:27:05

Document the experience, take photos,

keep a journal, save tickets and mementos.

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: 00:27:12

Solo adventures are precious

gifts you give yourself and you'll

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: 00:27:16

want to remember the details.

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: 00:27:19

As I continue working through my TBR

list here in Mexico, I'm struck by

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: 00:27:23

how these books enhance rather than

distract from the solar experience.

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: 00:27:28

Each story offers a different perspective

on love, relationships, and self-worth.

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: 00:27:33

They provide entertainment during

the quiet moments and emotional depth

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: 00:27:36

that enriches the overall experience.

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: 00:27:39

Reading about these strong, complex

heroines, while I'm on my own

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: 00:27:43

journey of rediscovering my strength

feels intentional and meaningful,

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: 00:27:48

these stories remind me that being

alone doesn't mean being lonely.

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: 00:27:53

That independence is attractive,

that knowing yourself is the

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: 00:27:56

foundation for healthy relationships.

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: 00:27:59

and this won't be my last solo adventure.

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: 00:28:02

In fact, I'm already thinking about

where I wanna go next, what books I

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: 00:28:06

want to save for future trips, how I can

continue incorporating solo time into my

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: 00:28:11

regular routine, even when I'm back home.

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: 00:28:15

And I hope that sharing my experience

encourages you to consider what kind of

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: 00:28:19

solo adventure might be calling to you.

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: 00:28:22

Maybe it's a writing retreat

where you finally work on that

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: 00:28:25

novel you've been thinking about.

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: 00:28:27

Maybe it's a food tour of a

city known for its cuisine.

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: 00:28:31

Maybe it's a simple day at a museum

followed by dinner at the restaurant

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: 00:28:34

you've been wanting to try.

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: 00:28:36

Okay.

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: 00:28:36

Whatever it is, I hope you'll give

yourself permission to explore it.

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: 00:28:41

You deserve to take up space in the

world to pursue your interests, to

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: 00:28:46

discover new things about yourself.

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: 00:28:48

you don't need anyone's

permission except your own.

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: 00:28:52

As I wrap up today's episode, I

want to leave you with this thought.

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: 00:28:56

The relationship you have with

yourself sets the tone for every

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: 00:29:00

other relationship in your life.

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: 00:29:02

The time you spend getting to know

yourself, nurturing your interests,

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: 00:29:06

and honoring your needs isn't selfish.

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: 00:29:09

It's essential.

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: 00:29:11

Whether you start with a solo coffee

date or plan an international adventure,

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: 00:29:15

the important thing is that you

start, every journey begins with a

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: 00:29:20

single step, and every solo adventure

begins with a decision to prioritize

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: 00:29:24

your own experience and growth.

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: 00:29:28

Thank you for joining me for

this episode of Culturally.

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: 00:29:31

And for being a part of this community

that celebrates black love, black

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: 00:29:35

romance authors, and black joy,

keep reading, keep exploring, keep

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: 00:29:41

discovering new things about yourself

and the world around you If you enjoy

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: 00:29:45

today's episode, please subscribe.

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: 00:29:47

Leave a review, and share culture

lit with someone who needs

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: 00:29:51

these stories in their life.

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: 00:29:53

I will be back with more book

recommendations, author interviews,

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: 00:29:57

and conversations about black

love, black romance, literature,

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: 00:30:00

and everything in between.

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: 00:30:02

Until next time, keep turning

those pages and living your

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: 00:30:06

best life solo or otherwise.

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: 00:30:08

I.